Here We Go

Work starts tomorrow....and it's a blessing to have a job right now, I'll just be very appreciative when my job won't involve food.

I've been in Sac for a little over a week now, really not doing a whole lot other than skyping and relaxing:) But the next nine weeks that will lead up to a visit home will be the hardest I think. Not seeing Nathan for that long is going to be hard, but so good for us. I'm taking joy in the fact that it will only make us stronger, and that is a priceless test to be given.

~Lar

Well hello Sacramento, I haven't lived here in a while...

So I'm all unpacked, almost moved in. And it's really been a blessing, but becoming more of a gift from the Lord as I spend time with my family, unwind, and really meditate on the Him. I've only been here a couple days and it's been so nice not to have to do anything! I don't start work until next Monday....I couldn't be happier. Opening everyday, to saying goodbyes, straight to a roadtrip didn't really allow for much rest. But chillin with my family is making this transition a little easier. The hardest part I think, is forgetting that I'm here and here for good at the moment. Ha, I think I see Chicago friends' cars....not them...but I don't wave, which saves me some embarrassment.

Jesus is teaching me so much by being in a place that really wasn't my first choice. It's beginning to be clear what he wants me to do, as opposed to what I "wanttothinkbutreallyitsmydesire" mentality getting in the way. I do have to work on pushing myself to do things outside of this tiny house, though. Even when I move to prevent being stagnant, I can very easily sit by myself because I "know no one", or, "have nothing to do." So today I went and took a Bikram Yoga class. There is definitely a struggle there because it's not based on Jesus Christ at all. But I do it for the exercise....and I have absolutely no idea what "namaste" means, so I think I'll be okay. I use the relaxation time to pray and just be vulnerable before the Lord.

So as I start to begin a new adventure in Sacramento before going on to Australia its really been on my heart that a lot of heavy things are going to go down while I am here. And those things I won't say yet, mainly because it's what I feel from the Holy Spirit, and if they aren't to happen while I'm here, lets not get emotional about it. I was reading from 2 Chronicles 31:1 last night. Read it, tell me what you got from Him:)

~Lar

We made it!

We're here! Bittersweet, but we're here nonetheless. It was a great roadtrip, visiting friends and family along the way. I'm still struggling with obedience to the Lord, not in a rebellious way like I'm going to give up and go home, but just letting go and letting the Lord do his will in and through me. This has been a short, but difficult journey and I know that the Lord will teach me things that I will carry with me into eternity. I want to do his Will and be pushed into things that will challenge my faith and relationship with him...there just seems to be a bad attitude that attaches itself to my heart and goes with me wherever I go ever since I decided to make this move.
Lord, in all things let my life be glorifying to you. I want to do your will, as I want to walk in your ways. Teach me to be the Woman of God that I need to be. Let your light penetrate, let your love challenge, and let your call to me be the air that I breathe. I love you, and I'm ready and willing to listen to what you have to say to me.

~Lar

Lincoln, NE, why are you so boring?

I've decided that all the states between Illinois and Colorado need some extreme help. Not to say that Illinois is very exciting once you leave Aurora, but I've learned to appreciate my car stereo in a whole different way now. This is short, but there isn't much to say other than EAT YOUR CORN!

~Lar

Tomorrow Come Slowly

Here I sit...basically fearing every emotion that I know will completely overcome me tomorrow as Nathan and I start our trek to Sacramento. There are no words for how much I hate leaving, hate goodbyes, hate taking the steps that I am required to take in order to take even greater leaps. And it's not goodbye, it really isn't, but that doesn't keep the floodgates of my eyeballs from totally letting go and letting loose. Tomorrow's cryfest will consist of me, Nathan, Mark, and Julie (Nate's parentals:). Lord, you can come RIGHT NOW if you would like.....

Hebrews 12:12 says "Therefore strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees." My pleasure Lord. I'll do this a thousand times over if it means that I will learn from you and fall more in love with you through how I journey these things. You are my everything.

My tiny little white Toyota Corolla is so packed that I think if we stuffed one more thing in there we'll be filling up my gas tank every ten minutes. I didn't realize how much crap I indeed do have. And that's after I went through everything and gave a huge load away..... Our plan of having a tote of coffee in the back seat as a lifeline isn't going to work out. But the food and coffee isn't really what I'm worried about. I over think and over analyze things....sometimes. So I'm freaked. I don't want to do it, but I desire to obey and that's what's keeping my heart at peace with the pain of being inside God's Will. Nothing but breakfast tomorrow, stall as long as possible, then begin this task that I've been assigned by my Lord. My pleasure Jesus....my pleasure.

~Lar

Throw it off

It's so amazing how much the Lord loves. How much he loves each and everyone one of His children. A passage that has been so encouraging to me is Hebrews 12:1-6
                                          "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider Him who endured such opposition form sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons:
                                            'My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline,
                                             and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
                                             because the Lord discipines those he loves,
                                             and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son.'"


 He's teaching me right there to get up and go! Just go Laramie, just go...So beautiful. I packed a couple of boxes into my car today, dropped off some stuff at Goodwill, and it's just like "Lord, why do I need to do this..." And He's so encouraging in His own strength. I have no idea what is going to pan out once I get to Sacramento, but He does and there is so much comfort in that! I am being 'disciplined', because He loves me. It's great:)

Lar

Reason behind the name

Hmm...first post, feels great! I needed to explain the meaning behind the title of my blog. And the story is rather simple, but it all starts with a uniquely close friend, well, family member of mine, Julie. She's been one of the many beautiful people spurring me on in Christ during some trials I thought I'd never have to face. And one argument we had had about a year and a half ago was over a job. I had paralyzed myself with the fear of starting something new, mainly because it was an uncomfortable thing to do, like everything else I had been going through. Her exact response to my above complaint was this:
                                  " So what if one day you are working in a coffee shop and somebody comes up and says 'I would like a mocho latte with a shot of blah blah'.....and you tell them 'I'm sorry but that makes me uncomfortable'...Really??!!"

Haha, this conversation reminds me so much of all the tiny, tiny things I've worried about and have let paralyze me. And if I can't make that "mocho latte with a shot of blah blah" I can't do the big things, the real things. Starting with this conversation, it's been a whole disaster of uncomfortable tasks. Tomorrow marks the one week countdown to moving home from Chicago to Sacramento. A move that is done out of obedience to the Lord and as I settle in there I'll be preparing for an even bigger journey. A journey I can make because of that latte:)


So Lord, here are the small things and the mediocre things. Here are the sad things and the painful things. And here are the future things and the scary things. The long-term dream of doing all those things....for you.

~Lar