Imagine

Imagine you're running.
running so fast you can't see the objects flying past you.
One barely misses your eye.
Another whizzes past your knee.
running.
run hard child.
You close your eyes so you can't see what's in front of you.
That doesn't help,
but it activates your faith that nothing will harm you.
running still.
A stumble in your faith hits you in the head.
You run out of thoughts.
The death of a loved one clips you in the eyes.
You can't see where you're going.
A broken relationship barrels into your side.
You feel sick.
So you're struggling, running, struggling.
Unconscious, blind, and sick.
And somehow the energy inside you only grows greater.
Because you're heart's still pumping for no other reason,
other than each valve is in the hands of the Father.
He's beating, he's flowing, he's revitalizing.
You're running.
Naked and broken.
Worthless but made new.
Alone and restless.
running hard.
running still.
running the race.
run hard child.

~Laramie

Can't Catch a Break

A lot has been going on. Let me tell you. I feel like I'm THE emotional roller coaster herself.

Nathan is still here *happy dance*, but that's not the reason at all on why a lot has been going on. The Lord is doing some serious construction on my heart and sometimes it's so simple the way he communicates to us. Yesterday He sent a clear message of His unfailing and sometimes unruly love for me. Nathan's headaches had turned into "head trauma's" over the past week, and last Tuesday we had to spend the day in the ER. They prescribed him some painkillers and all was well, but you know head injuries-- so unpredictable and moody. Some days are great, other days it's like we've taken ten steps back. And yesterday was the worst pain he had ever felt since the hospital, so we rushed to the ER once more. This time instead of taking him back right away they made him wait in the waiting room, which was totally bogus to me. They are in the midst of doing construction on the hospital, so the jackhammer was kind enough to hypothetically drill a hole into the sides of Nathan's head, causing more pain.

We get back there and long story short, he receives a Spinal Tap, CT Scan, and they took some labs. All is well, he is doing fine:)

But there was one specific moment in time yesterday during all of this, that God caught my attention. No, not during the jackhammer's serenade. It was on our way to the hospital and, as always, I missed the exit because I had come from a different direction than last time. I'm apologizing to Nathan as he sits next to me in severe pain, and I just think to myself "I just can't catch a break...we just can't catch a break..." And not even a full minute later I see this:

Bam. My heart totally broke inside. He's working on my heart, he's working on my spirit. I can't catch a break, because there's roadwork the next few miles:)

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."
James 1:2-4

~Laramie

It's true.

I have this random set of facts that seems to pop into my head every now and then and I'd like to share it.

ready?

Every human being needs four hugs per day merely to survive.
Eight hugs per day to maintain oneself at a strong emotional level.
Twelve hugs per day to grow and become a better person.


I love this. It's so cool.

I wonder sometimes why I am always so up and down emotionally. Yes, I'm a woman, yes, I do have a lot going on in my life. When one thing ends something else comes up, story of any life of a child of God. BUT, there are days where I will go all day, sometimes two or three--without a hug. Without any physical tough and/or closeness. And I will feel like crap. For what feels like no reason, and it's almost like "what in the world am I doing wrong?"

All growing up I was never very "touchy feely" and everyone knew that. But it's interesting how over the past couple of years, growing out of the pain of what has happened and continues to happen to my family, I've realized that I am the "touchy feely." I am a hugger, kisser, hand-holder, shoulder-grabber:) I had someone tell me about a year ago, "you know you are more 'touchy feely' than you think. You are very much a physical touch person. You'll grab my hand all the time" "Excuse me?" was probably my first response. But it's true, I love love. And now that it hasn't been demanded of me for a while, it's really become something that I crave, as does any person in one way or another.


............ now I'm just trying to break that "reputation" of not liking hugs. especially hugs. They're the greatest:)

Update: .Today is Jacob's momma's birthday:) I know he's throwing her a party up there.
.Memphis is coming quickly! I'm all secured for the eco-friendly dorm...
. Nathan is here visiting:) He surprised me a week ago Tuesday, and is here for another month. Excited much? yep.
. And Cameron graduates tomorrow. Whoa. My 18 year old brother is a man. Weird.

~Laramie