Oh my....

Oh my, oh. my. There has been so much going on and I can't even know where to begin.

But, I guess instead of giving the normal "in a nutshell" or "long story short", I'll just share with you some pieces of my heart.

Nathan is doing much better, thank you for the prayers that spread like a wildfire! Only by the grace of God is he doing as well as he is, nothing is impossible with our Everlasting. It's so amazing how much the Lord taught me from the other side of the country. Here I am worried sick, being a complete control freak and basketcase while Nathan struggles in the hospital. After about a week of that nonstop sick feeling in my stomach I finally got the message. In order for anything good to come out of something bad, we have to let go. Just let go. It doesn't matter if I'm stuck in traffic and now late to my destination, or living 2,000 miles from my best friend and I literally can't do anything to help him but to pray. God can't work in me if I don't let him. That's basically all it comes down to. And he's really beaten the heck out of my control issues, because it's not about down here:)

Philippians 4:7 is one of my favorite verses, "And the peace of God that transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." When God is finally "given" control and we learn to rest in him, there is a peace that no one can understand. Other versions of this verse say "the peace that surpasses all understanding", you can't understand it! You can't hold it, you can't touch it, you can't see it. You can be more spiritual than our friend Billy and not understand someone's peace in Christ. But that peace does not mean that everything is great and I feel no pain, it's that this experience is difficult, but I'm okay with it being difficult, and I'm living in the Will of the Lord.

Transcend: To pass beyond the limits of; To be greater than, as in intensity or power; surpass.

Guard: To protect from harm by or as if by watching over

Peace: a state of stillness, silence, or serenity

"And the state of serenity that passes beyond the limits of your understanding will protect and watch over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." Yes! Sign me up:)

I feel like every time I finish a battle, whether it be in a relationship, at home, at work, something spiritual with a struggle, or with the Lord, something else always comes along. No breather, no intermission. But the Lord disciplines those he loves and I'm trying to take every trial as an outpour of God's love. Not a punishment, but a refinement.

So there's a piece, I hope it made sense. My little sis Megan turned sixteen yesterday, and I'm looking at her now like, "I was just sixteen, and I thought I was so grown up!" Let me tell you, I don't think that anymore, I'll never be "grown up".

Peace in Christ,

~Laramie

Wings like Eagles.

Oh Nathan. This is only day three of his journey and it feels like it's been a month. Probably because of the distance between us. And it makes me sick, not being able to be by his side. I can't say that I've not cried everyday because I have, I'm worried sick. Literally sick. But, God is good.

Every time I get off the phone with Mark, Nathan's dad, I feel like my insides are failing. I want to help him and I can't, I wouldn't be able to even if I was there. And God has been using this to teach me a dependence on Him that I will never be able to replace. Because even if I was there, Nathan wouldn't know. And even though I love him more than life, the two people he has there with him at every moment are the two people he needs the most right now. Mark and Julie are saints.

Lord, I lift up my brother in Christ. Heal his body Father for you make all things new. Renew his spirit once he is able to be emotional, calm his mind once he is able to think, and strengthen his body once he is able to move. O God, I beg you to breathe a passionate life into him again. Give his parents peace of mind and a rest they can only find in you. Bless them Father, be the peace that surpasses all understanding and guard their hearts. May you receive glory in all circumstance trying and joyful. Jesus I love you, and I pray that Nathan would not only be healed in body, but in spirit, heart, and mind.

My mom was telling me something a close pastor friend of ours had told her and my dad when I had a brain injury a few years ago. He said "She's in His hands now, he knows right where she's at." And that's where Nathan is, the strong hands of his Heavenly Father. His Savior King.

"But those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint."
Isaiah 40:31

I'm praying love.

~