Neverending

So I've been worrying a bit about how to go about all my financial aid for school, loans, blah blah blah. The deadline for scholarships was June 30th and I applied for as many as I could, but not expecting anything at all. Really this whole journey with school has been placed into God's hands every day. Because everyday I think about it; everyday I stress about it; and everyday I waltz into the nervous and anxious feelings that come with moving out and moving in. Out of comfort and into uncomfortable. Good thing it won't always be like that:)

I emailed my admissions counselor today--to kind of find out how much longer I should wait before completing any loans, and paying the first payment that's due the 15th of this month. I don't worry with money usually, because the Lord has always provided for me in one way or another.

But as the date got closer I just started to wonder if I should wait for an answer on scholarships or just go and take out the loans. My counselor said she would check with financial aid and get back to me. Not 30 minutes later she emails again.

I got a scholarship.

It doesn't even matter what amount it is. It's what I needed. He always provides what I need. So I immediately call my mom. Squeals and laughing occur. We hang up, everyone is excited.

Then she calls back. And it takes her about 7 seconds to start crying. She explains how after we hung up the first time she was thanking the Lord and said this: "He's providing for you Laramie."

He so is. And that's how I know that I'm doing what he wants me to do, because He is providing for me. Taking care of me like a father takes care of his child. It's a little bit of a "duh factor" scenario, but it made me understand. It's like the Lord uses the "kill them with kindness" approach and served me a slice of humble pie that just broke my heart. It didn't break in a bad way, but it just hit my heart like..."that's what it feels like"...to be taken care of, because you are loved. He is looking out for me, leading me, protecting me.

It's so amazing how, when we want what God wants, our heart changes. And when our heart changes, we begin to do what God intended for us to do. And then, when we do what He intended for us to do, He provides for every need that we come across :)

~Laramie