buh-huh-LAH. Writer's block.
Which really makes no sense, I'm not a writer.

Anywho. Preparation for Australia continues to make me feel like it's really going no where. And if it is, in fact, moving along....either it's snail speed....or I'm impatient. Either one. I'm really confident that I'm severely impatient. A little more than the normal human being. But It's so funny how God shows up at my front door, like, ALL the time. And not too long ago I posted on the Facebook page for Hillsong International Leadership College, that, Lord willing, if the money is there I'll be there in July for the intake. And some angel of the Lord (don't remember his earthly name) commented on my post: "Remove the 'ifs' and watch God move:)" WHAT?! DUH! How could I be so "you of little faith".....

So I continue to read the Word and scribble my worries hoping that somehow my journal will communicate my feelings to the Lord.
That doesn't work either Laramie.
To fix this, last night I took a walk. I love walking at night. Usually because it's so quiet....okay, that and so none of the neighbors can see me struggling to run consistently for at least 2 minutes. But I just began praying. No headphones, no phonecalls, no facebook mobile, just gentle conversation with my Father. And I began with lifting up brothers and sisters in prayer, one by one as they came to mind. For healing, for strengthening, for confidence, for an outpour of blessings. It's so funny, I always feel like "and could you also maybe bless them too?..." Of course he can! He can bless the socks off of anyone he wants, as much as he wants. Because he IS. He IS. And as I'm just so involved in rambling on about people I love to the Lord, my attitude changed. No negativity or bitterness, no stubbornness, just an honest desire for things to be blessed and to be okay. I was so excited. Where do I go thinking that journaling and reading is enough? And where do I think that the only thing God wants to talk about all day is how I want to go home from work early? No, not really interested in that one Lar.

So the preparation continues not just in patience for Australia funding, but also in attitude and faith. Trusting that God really does have a handle on everything is harder to swallow than your home church makes you think it is. It is difficult. Painful. Terrifying. Exhausting. Strenuous. A release of power that no one is really ever willing to experience. But He loves us. Oh, if you can only picture him watching you, enjoying you, taking care of you as you walk through the valley of the shadow of death. We've all walked that one. And most children of God walk it and never leave it, that's how it's supposed to be. That's how he shows us our salvation.

On a lighter note, I seem to have no will power when it comes to my diet. So aside from committing to studying and practicing Pilates everyday this week, I've also banned myself from dairy, which naturally makes me sick to my stomach, and trying to cut out Gluten. There is something I'm putting into myself that is just crashing the party inside me, so my next solution is cut something out and see how I feel. Unfortunately that means bread and cookies....oh well. I have a best friend named Trader Joe, we'll see if he can help me out:)

Here's a blessing since moving home: Quality time with my sis we haven't had in over two years. Feels spectacular:) She's pretty rad.

Peace in Christ,

Laramie