And once again...

I abandon my page for about two weeks. Things have been a bit crazy, not necessarily schedule-wise, but mentally and emotionally. Preoccupied is probably a great word to describe how I've been feeling.

Not a day goes by that I don't think about Jacob and his life that ended so suddenly. We all thought he would beat this, and he did, but not in the way that we all hoped. The Lord had victory over his body and sickness, and Jacob is running through the streets of heaven now with his new heart-- that beats absolutely perfectly. My heart just hurts for the immediate family that surrounded Jacob daily. I can only hope and pray that I will be a tenth as a great a parent as Brian and Nicole were and are. Totally solid. Totally in love with their little boy. And totally not willing to go down without a fight.

When the Lord took Jacob home, it wasn't until about 11pm, so all day that day we were on our knees praying that God would perform a miracle. But at the same time, I was weeping that entire Tuesday. All day, and I feel like even though Jacob wasn't gone yet, I knew. I knew that the Lord was coming to take his hand and that's why I was such a wreck. Everytime I thought about him, which was every minute, I heard the words "the Portion of Jacob." That phrase comes from one of my favorite passages, Jeremiah 10:16...
"He who is the Portion of Jacob is not like these,
for He is the maker of all things,
including Israel, the land of his inheritance;
The Lord Almighty is his name."

Over and over I heard "the Portion of Jacob" because I could see a vision of Jakey lying in that hospital bed. And He is the Portion of Jacob. He was little, mighty Jakey's portion. This little boy knew why he was here and I know he heard the words "well done." I remember thinking "I just saw him. JUST saw him." And I didn't to see him very much, but I made sure to go and visit since I am so close now. Forever will he have a mark on my heart, and a place that no one else can fill.

I love you Jacob.

~Laramie

Sweetly Broken

Wholly surrendered. Wholly and fully surrendered. This is what the Lord is teaching my family right now.

After 6 1/2 years of praying and encouraging my little cousin Jacob, the Lord took him home this past Wednesday. That's about all I can write without tearing up and possibly losing it. I just don't know what to say. Praise God that he isn't in pain, he has a heart that beats how it's supposed to, and he's running around with all of our beloved family members that we've lost in the past few years and decades. I'm almost jealous, he's sitting with our King:) I think that's all I can put into words at the moment.

Pray for our family, pray for Bryan, Nicole, Juliana. Pray for their immediate family, and as we sit together on Monday, pray that God would receive more glory than we could strive to give Him.

~Laramie

Airports

So I'm sitting in the airport in Sacramento waiting to board my flight to Dallas/Fort Worth. Really, I'm on my way to Memphis:) To audition:) For their music school:) I'm praying that God would just give the confidence and comfort to let go and use what he has given me. Who knows, all I'm going to do is try.

But anyways, I'm sitting in the row that faces the rest of the seating area, but my back is to the gate. And it's so hilarious the wide variety of people that packs itself into one tiny space...
A middle aged couple with their two young children. Mom looks like she can't wait to just get where they're going; the kids are trying their darndest to stay occupied before mom or dad become completely irritated; and dad could care less about what's happening right now...he's on his phone.
One Hispanic gentlemen sitting at a diagonal from my seat, people watching just like I am. He wears a cowboy hat-- then takes it off-- and in a minute or two he will fix his hair and put the hat back on:)
Another couple probably in their late fifties. I like the lady, she is fabulously clad in the way that I hope I'm dressed when I'm her age. Her husband looks sweet, genuinely interested in engaging with his wife, nice to see:)

There's about thirty more people in our little square. Some staring at me, others don't even know that there are people sitting on their right or left, and still others looking out the window either dreading or looking forward to their trip. I'm excited, at least, for mine:) I've never been to Memphis, never been a lot of places. But for this trip I feel like it may be a blessing in disguise, which is how God surprises me most of the time. All I want is to learn, to be teachable, and to grow in the areas that God wants, in the ways that God wants.
And I'll start with sitting in the airport at 6:30 in the morning:)

~Laramie

I can't wait.

For a ton of things. So I decided to make a list of things I'm excited for, for JUST this year. I think a lifelong list would make this post go way longer than it needs to:) Maybe not all of these will happen, but I'll stay excited until they do...

Consistently warm days- I hate wearing shoes:)
A surprise visit from a special someone, I know it's coming...don't know when...
Going to school for music and knowing that it was God's intention.
San Fransisco.
Officially learning to play guitar.
Becoming certified in Stott Pilates.
Camping.
Venti Shakened Iced Tea, Zen, Sweetened:)
Venti Iced Skinny Vanilla Latte, Soy...
Driving to Arcata to visit my sweet cousin Reianna, maybe climbing a Redwood while I'm at it.
Going on a hike with my very greatest friend Kendal, pretending we are actually backpacking in New Zealand...
Bonfires.
Cameron's graduation, we'll make it a good one:)
Uncle Brian's cabin on the Russian River by the Pacific.
Art Walks downtown in the summer heat.
Lake Tahoe.
Thoroughly enjoying the 8-hour drive from the school I'd love to go to, to Naperville. And enjoying it even more when I arrive...
Pedicures.
Victoria and I WILL attempt another beach day, with or without wind.
Camping.
Christmas and Thanksgiving at Grandma and Grandpa Peets...it's an experience, you should come.
Picnics.
Devotionals while the sun is rising...or setting.
Worship team rehearsals.
Mumford and Sons in concert, it WILL happen....
Lalapalooza.
Learning more and more about the Lord's Will each day I'm alive.

Those are just a few, I could think of more....

Here's a picture of Nathan and me, before we were what we are:)

~Laramie

Oh my goodness, Oh my goodness

Well, it appears as though a post once a week has been my illness for the past month. I wish I did this more consistently. It's been such a dry period for me, with everything. My devotionals, prayer, writing, I'm just not doing a good job at being seriously in tune and consistent with these things. I'm human, I get that, but sometimes it's nice to feel like for the first time, these things come naturally. Maybe someday I'll get it.

Fun fact: I have done some research on Hillsong Church since the Lord has been working some kinks out of my heart. And it's strange how He saves us from things we don't know we are walking into. Hillsong is Pentecostal. Which, as far as their worship goes, I like the charismatic, contemporary styles of worship. But the Pentecostal doctrine also has views on prophecy and healing that I don't necessarily agree with, they can be dangerous...and I was just reading this today, about their beliefs and doctrines. They use Prosperity Teaching. It's sometimes called Word-faith theology, which essentially teaches that God wants us to be wealthy and live in prosperity. We should be able to unleash this from within, finding our joy and prosperity in material things. Whoa.

So needless to say, those are just a couple of things I've found from more than just one opinionated source, but I am so thankful to God that he brought me home where I could be "alone" to hear his whispers. I don't want to blindly walk into something that will change His truth in my heart. It's so easy to do, even more when the discrepancy is hidden in the faith that I believe in. It's funny, I've even had my new Worship Pastor make a comment about Hillsong, that their Theology isn't that strong. While they are doing great things for the Lord, theologically...not so much. No one is perfect, but everyone can read the Word and know the truth.

Any thoughts? I guess I'm writing all of this to say that, while I don't know what God's plan is, I can't walk onto that path thinking that I'm wise enough, or discerning enough to guard my heart when the teaching is false. Because that's exactly when the enemy gets us. When WE think we can. And I will put no confidence in my flesh...

Anywho, this picture I took last night while it was raining. Almost in broad daylight aside from a few thunderclouds, it just started pouring. And there sat God's promise to us, right on the side of the road. And I think the way he is guiding me away from false doctrine is a great example of his Promises:)

I love my God:)
"I establish my covenant with you: Never again will all life be destroyed by the waters of a flood; never again will there be a flood to destroy the earth.” And God said, “This is the sign of the covenant I am making between me and you and every living creature with you, a covenant for all generations to come: I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth. Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind. Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life. Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth.”
~Genesis 9:11-16

"Like the appearance of a rainbow in the clouds on a rainy day, so was the radiance around him.

This was the appearance of the likeness of the glory of the LORD. When I saw it, I fell facedown, and I heard the voice of one speaking."
~ Ezekiel 1:28

~Laramie

stories, I like them:)

I was going to put up some pictures, but our computer died. So, we replaced it with an older one temporarily....which won't recognize my camera, or anything else for that matter.

Anywho, I feel like yesterday I got back from my visit to Illinois....and now tomorrow is APRIL....what? Time has gone by so, so fast! Nathan and I were talking the other day and I was telling him how before I came to visit over New Years, it seemed like time was crawling by. Taking for-e-ver. And now that I have been back, it's speeding past. I think we have reached the number now where it's been a longer gap of not seeing him, or anyone from Illinois, than the first time. But it feels shorter. It's like we need that first visit, homecoming, reunion, and now time is absolutely flying.

I was thinking about people earlier this week. Not really anyone in particular, but just people in general. And actually now that I think about it, what sparked this monologue in my head was my day-trip to Palo Alto, CA to visit my little cousin Jake. I will tell you about him in a sec. I literally spent almost a full day just hanging in the hospital room with him and his parents. His parents are technically my second cousins, making him my third, but whatever. He has been diagnosed with heart failure so really they just sit in the room, take care of what Jake needs, and try to keep themselves entertained. And I LOVED it--and on my way home I was trying to figure out why in heaven I could literally just sit with someone and, whether we are doing something or not, totally enjoy it. It's because above everything else, more than music, more than dance, more than art, more than food, more than reading, singing, laughing, more than movies, school, life, whatever--with the exception of my relationship with the Lord, I love to spend time with people more than anything else on earth. If that was all I did for the rest of my life was spend quality time with anyone and everyone in my life I would be set....makes my heart cry:)

Okay, Jacob--probably one of the greatest examples of the strength of Christ present in my life right now. When Jake was born his left ventricle wasn't formed, so far he has had six heart surgeries to assist his hard working right ventricle; tomorrow the team meets to decide if he is a candidate for a heart transplant. They could decline him, which to me makes no sense whatsoever. The child is six years old, could we give him the chance to graduate high school maybe? Maybe? Maybe make an impact with the huge testimony he will have by the time he gets there? He is such a solid little kid. He endures the pain and has a will to live like I've never seen before. Such a warrior and be in prayer that the Lord will bless him with a heart. A heart that will beat for the Lord with every fiber. And our whole family gladly admits, we can't live without him:)

He's a trooper:) And got to take a walk today...

~Laramie

Provisions:)

I like the word "whoa", so I'm going to use it:

...whoa...

I am blessed. For real, truly blessed. God has taken care of me, tested me, instructed me, given me many counselors that I love and adore; He has just surrounded me with beautiful things amidst the difficulties. First one being this:

It's champaign color:)
It came at just the right time.

A tad too much laughing going on around here:)

This little shapeless dress,
completely floral,
and probably formerly owned by a mother who kindly ripped out the shoulder pads before handing it down.
Courtesy of GoodWill...

And this has nothing to do with anything,
but it's one of the most adorable houses ever.
I might want it.
It's in the middle of Stockton, which is where I grew up--across the street from the Baptist church...
...in which I grew up:)
Isn't it so cute? Praise Jesus.

Illinois, Compass church, I miss you.

~Laramie